Lately I have been hoping that my son would move out of the house and find his own place. This twenty seven year old son graduated from theological school up in Boston with a Masters Degree in Theology back in May of 2003 and was to stay with us until he got his so called "bearings." The mistake I made was in not giving this offer a deadline in which he would begin to look for his own home and leave us to our previous state of childlessness (all of my children, 3 to be exact, are all very grown up and have been gone from home for several years now). But I didn't put any restrictions on his stay or on anything else for that matter -- this seems to be typical of me as I look back over the years -- since I knew him to be a quiet, pleasant, and reasonable young person. He was always this way, even when he was a little guy.
Now as I look back over the last year, I know I should have sat down with him and discussed things about his plans for the future in much more detail, since it appears that he is not going anywhere anytime soon! I feel bad about how I feel cause he is my only son and I do not want to cause a rif between us, but things just aren't working out anymore with him living here. I think that grown children living at home with their parents never works out well because it is simply not a natural thing. Children are supposed to fly out of the nest, leave their parents behind, never to return in the same light as when they were small. And to be honest, for years after they all left home, I would pine away and long for them to return to me and the proverbial "nest". I was lost without them for a very long time.....but not anymore. I have tried to move on with my life and now that I am making some progress, this grown son is once again attached to me like glue.
It is very true that once you let something like this go on, it is hard to undo the whole situation. He even uses the same bank account as us (for convenience reasons). But I must make a change. I am hoping to sit down with him after the holidays and put some kind of timeline to his living arrangements....He would be happier on his own and I KNOW I would be glad to see him make his own way in the world, all by himself. It would be a good thing for all of us. Wish me luck!

sylvia hamilton

Well I put up three Christmas trees this year! I put one in the kitchen and decorated it with multicolor lights and lots of things that children would find fun like reindeer and rocking horses and antique Santa Clauses. I put another tree in the living room close to the dining table area and decorated it in red and silver. The lights on this tree are tiny, clear ones and absolutely everything on the tree is either red or silver. Now I also put up a bigger Christmas tree along the other side of the living room and decorated it is only gold and pink ornaments with clear lights. The unusual thing about these trees is that they are ALL artificial trees!!!! I cannot believe that I was not interested in going to find the perfect live tree this year and I am wondering is this is a sign that I am getting old. As a child and even into my twenties and thirties I would have stood in front of a team of Clydesdale horses before I would have put an artificial tree in my house. I somehow feel like a traitor to my own words and principles about what Christmas decorations should look like ... me being sort of a naturalist at heart. I do plan to put fresh greenery along the outside of my front door and on the side door as well and all along the fence posts that line the fields. I think I will end up hanging up about forty pieces of greenery (red cedar) and BIG red bows on each post...this should look pretty terrific. My grandchildren are coming back to Edmond to visit us for the holidays this year, and it has been close to three years since they moved to South Texas. I know they will think everything looks quite Christmasy...in spite of the FAKE Christmas Trees! (cringe) I Still Can't Believe I Put Up Artificial Christmas Trees!

sylvia hamilton